Tuesday, March 31, 2020
The Mighty Xarn was suspicious. One of the parental units had bulged significantly. There was movement and a heartbeat.
Then he "heard" the voice in his head, "I am #Zarf the Destroyer. Let me OUT!"
He wondered if this new arrival would be a worthy adversary.
Monday, March 30, 2020
“That’s it, #Finisterre, the end of the world. We’re out of food.”
“Even the dog food?”
“Yup, the only thing left is this.”
“Where did you get that?”
“I used to have an Aussie flatmate.”
“That was 15 years ago!”
Sunday, March 29, 2020
“Listen up. Today you’re going to learn the 4 #butt-stroking techniques.”
“Stop sniggering at the back, you’re not 13.”
“Hold your rifle by the small of the buttstock in your right hand with the forestock in your left and the butt towards the ground. Now...
Saturday, March 28, 2020
Thursday, March 26, 2020
The pink blobby things don’t feed me enough because if they did they think I wouldn’t keep their living box free from #vermin
I enjoy the chase and the playing and finally the kill and the crunch but vermin taste bad so I mooch food wherever I can and steal if I have to.
Tuesday, March 24, 2020
- 800g strong white bread flour
- 14g fresh yeast or 7g sachet dried yeast or 7g sachet fast-action dried yeast
- 2 teaspoons salt
- 550ml water at 30C/85F
- 2x1kg bread tins greased with butter or lard (or dairy free alternative)
Place the flour in a large bowl and, if using fast-action dried yeast, stir in the salt thoroughly before adding the fast-action dried yeast
If using fresh yeast or dried yeast, in a small bowl, wet the yeast with a little warm water and stir it ot a cream. Add the remaining water, then add this mixture to the flour. Mix well together.
Tip the mixture onto a clean worktop. Knead for 10-15 minutes until the dough is shiny and elastic. Don't worry if it sticks to your hands initially; just keep cleaning them with a plastic scraper. try not to add a significant quantity of extra flour to prevent the dough from sticking - this will only make the dough firm up and dry slightly.
Put the dough back in the bowl and cover with a damp cloth. Leave the dough to rise at a warm, but not hot, room temperature for 1-2 hours until it has doubled in size.
Turn out the dough onto a lightly floured worktop and knead it for 2-3 minutes to even it out. Divide the dough into two equal portions. Knead each lightly to form a cylinder that has a crease at its base. Place in the tins crease down and cover them with a damp tea towel. Leave the loaves to rise at the same warm room temperature for 45-60 minutes until they have doubled in size -- this will be when the dough just mounds over the rim of the tins by 1-2 cm.
Preheat the oven to 220C/425F/Gas 7 and adjust the shelves so that the loaves have room to rise.
When the oven is hot, remove the tea towel and sprinkle the loaves with a little flour. Carefully slice a shallow groove along the centre of each loaf. Place in the oven and bake for 20 minutes, then turn the loaves around so that they cook evenly. Reduce the temperature to 180c/350F/gas 4 and bake for a further 20-25 minutes
The loaves are ready if they sound hollow when tapped on the base
Turn the loaves out onto a wire rack and allow them to cool fully before using.
- 250 g plain white flour
- 150 g wholemeal flour
- 50 g oats (plus extra to scatter on top)
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda (baking soda, not baking powder)
- 300 ml neutral tasting dairy free milk (Alpro Unsweetened Oat Milk is my favourite)
- 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar (or lemon juice, or white wine vinegar)
If you really don't like the brown-white mix, this works well with 350g white, 50g brown, 50g oats
- Preheat the oven to 220C / 200C fan / gas mark 7 / 425F. Lightly Dust a baking tray with flour.
- Mix all the dry ingredients together thoroughly.
- Add the oat milk and vinegar, and stir to combine.
- Keep stirring until the ingredients come together as a dough, then squidge together to form a ball.
- Place the ball of dough on your baking tray and cut a deep cross in the centre. This is really important as it helps the centre of the bread to cook properly – so cut nice and deep, almost to the bottom.
- If you wish, you can dust the loaf with a little flour and a sprinkle of oats, then place the bread in your preheated oven for 30 minutes.
- That's it, take it out, cool it on a rack. Enjoy
Sunday, March 08, 2020
In a cave, up a mountain, it gets deadly cold. He had a knife but no flint, matches or magnifying glass. The guru used chocolate to polish the base of a soda can to use as a mirror and lit some tinder.
“Huh,” he thought, “Turns out you can start a fire without a #spark.“
Saturday, March 07, 2020
Friday, March 06, 2020
Gaijin write haiku
Think #seventeen syllables
Thursday, March 05, 2020
Escaped being held hostage in some crazy woman’s basement. No clue as to who she is nor why she kidnapped me. Sad to say she scared me so much I screamed whenever she approached. #Tribute to the police though, they promise to find her. #CarribeanHolidayRuined
Steph @StephiSimone · Mar 5
Steph @StephiSimone · Mar 5
Today I decided to pay #tribute to my stalker
He’s followed me for so long It was only right to thank him
So I stalked him back,
Kidnapped him and
Tied him up in my basement
He was shocked
And screamed every time I got close
So I think he liked my gesture #vss365
Wednesday, March 04, 2020
Satisfied everything worked and the experiment was written up properly, Jean worked extra at the weekend to ride the mind of a #seagull.
She climbed, dived, barrel rolled and even looped-the-loop.
On Monday morning they found her with a huge grin on her cold, dead face.
Tuesday, March 03, 2020
It was dangerous. You could lose your mind. Jean tried to tell herself that she was only doing it for research but nothing she had ever experienced beat the thrill of sharing the consciousness of a storm petrel as it swooped low above the #whitecaps near the cliffs
Monday, March 02, 2020
A single tear escaped her eye and ran into Chris’ ear as she rolled the Goshawk SuperHeavy rocket down range, eastwards above the #Atlantic. The dying Earth was still beautiful & the ocean glittered in the sunlight. One of the last to witness it she felt homesick already.
Sunday, March 01, 2020
#Bridging the gap between two points in spacetime took phenomenal amounts of power. The wormholes created by Einstein-Rosen bridges were unstable and still took time to traverse with the risk of collapse increasing with the cube of time spent. It gave Gareth the willies.
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