Saturday, February 29, 2020
Gareth had seen enough SciFi movies to know that the way to get rid of aliens was to lure them into an airlock, #purge the air and flush them into the cold, hard vacuum of space.
Turns out this one didn’t need air and just crawled out onto the hull to find another way in
Friday, February 28, 2020
In the back end of beyond, in the dark of night when even the birds were asleep the guru basked in the almost #deathly silence broken only by the sound of his own heartbeat and the ticking of the clock.
“Hang on,” he thought, “I live in a cave and I don’t have a clock.”
Thursday, February 27, 2020
"Welcome to Hell. If you were expecting some Dantean nightmare it's far worse than that. He saw only the first 9 of infinite circles but don't abandon all hope, this may not be your final #destination You can leave when you've taught Cerberus to beat me at tic-tac-toe"
Tuesday, February 25, 2020
When I was a kid we used to play parlour games at my parents’ friends house. One of them was The #Spirits Move.
I was certain it was a conjuring trick but I could never figure it out.
After his mum died my friend told me there was no trick, she was really clairvoyant
Monday, February 24, 2020
“Malcolm Reynolds, so you have to be Inara”
“Nuh uh. I’m going as Kaylee”
“But they weren’t a couple”
“Not when she was in overalls or eating strawberries and twirling a parasol. I get to be the #Belle of the Shindig in the pink dress and you can be my Cap’n Tightpants.”
Sunday, February 23, 2020
He trailed his older sister into the kitchen.
"Mooom, tell him. He’s being a right #royal pain in the —“
“Jenny! We don’t use words like that in this house.”
“I was gonna say ‘neck’.”
“That’s not what you said just now.”
“Snitches get stitches Billy” she whispered
Saturday, February 22, 2020
Billions died from disease and starvation as we plundered the last resources and cannibalized infrastructure to build the ships to take us to a new home in the Solar system.
As the last rocket left, there was finally #Peace on Earth
Mars however was in deep trouble
Friday, February 21, 2020
Thursday, February 20, 2020
He was in the merchant navy
He didn’t have to fight
No #soldier he but fought as hard
Striving day & night
To bring us food & fuel
To help lessen our plight
The U-boat sank the unarmed ship
No hero’s grave in sight
Now he sleeps with Davy Jones
At the dying of the light
Wednesday, February 19, 2020
“Steph, how often can I get away with meeting Bob by coincidence before he starts to think I’m doing it on #purpose?”
“My ‘Stalkers Handbook 5th Ed.’ says no more than once every 2 or 3 weeks unless he’s really dumb”
“Hello, he’s a guy”
“Fair point. Twice a day then.”
Tuesday, February 18, 2020
#vss365 Day 81
The #WritingCommunity seem to have accepted me as one of their own. They interact, like and RT my feeble tweets and encourage me.
Beginning to wonder whether my mission to #infiltrate and discover their secrets is a success or whether I have become one of them
Monday, February 17, 2020
"So you've remodelled Hell?"
"We needed more room for those that Donald Tusk said would have a special place."
"You put Lust, Gluttony & #Greed into one circle combining the punishments of wind-buffeted, icy rain & fighting. What gave you the idea?"
"We copied Scotland."
Sunday, February 16, 2020
Kneeling, bound wrist and ankle, someone grabbed Jared’s hair from behind pressing a blade to his throat.
“If you follow the #creed then speak it.”
“I cannot, for it is forbidden but ‘Steadfast’ is the watchword and brotherhood the path.”
The knife sliced his bonds
Saturday, February 15, 2020
It began like any other confession, “Forgive me Father for I have sinned... I have sold the deathbed confession of Erika Leonard to the press - she said that ‘50 shades’ was intended to be a #parody of erotic fiction and I thought the world deserved to know”
Friday, February 14, 2020
"I don't understand why he quit being an author to become a police officer."
"When did the cute evil priest start writing?"
"If we're playing that game, I remember when he was a starship captain". #CantStopTheSignal
Thursday, February 13, 2020
No one expected the rise of the Belgian #Empire. How did the most boring country on the planet manage to take over the world?
We found out too late the mind control drugs were in the chocolate.
We pray for liberation by the heroic Diabetic Resistance Army
Wednesday, February 12, 2020
Finding no one, Bob entered the guru’s cave and discovered him drunk, sitting in his underclothes and scratching himself.
“Don’t #judge me. I’ll bet you’ve done worse.”
Bob returned to the world telling people the guru said “Judge not, lest ye be judged”
Tuesday, February 11, 2020
“I don’t trust you, never have, never will; you’re a weasel but...”
“But we must #ally to defeat our common foe,” replied the weasel, “The enemy of my enemy and all that.”
“I’ll sing when the cat is coming but I’ll be watching you too and stay away from my eggs.”
Monday, February 10, 2020
Sunday, February 09, 2020
“Guru, if #pride is the greatest of the 7 Deadly Sins why is there no Circle of Hell for it?”
“All of Hell is filled with Pride, that love of self above everyone and everything else is what gives birth to and enables all the other sins. This is the true root of all evil.”
Saturday, February 08, 2020
I should have been suspicious when he said he didn’t wrap my present, it was a bit of an awkward shape.
He left the room and returned leading two donkeys painted greenish blue.
I tried to smile. I’d told him I wanted a pair of teal #mules
“Happy Valentines Day” he beamed.
Friday, February 07, 2020
“So who’s your favourite?”
“Isla Fischer, I loved her in #Enchanted ”
“That was Amy Adams”
“Are you sure they’re not the same?”
“Well I’ve never seen them in a room together but -“
“I’d like to get them in a room together”
“Not cool Bro, don’t talk about women like that!”
Thursday, February 06, 2020
Wednesday, February 05, 2020
Not a direct descendant of the #Atlas, Saturn or Falcon rockets but related, the Goshawk Super Heavy was the first to have a full AI pilot.
“What kind of stupid law needs this to have a human ‘driver’ just in case”, said Chris sitting at the controls, “In case of what?”
Tuesday, February 04, 2020
In short, sharp, #frantic movements she scrabbled backwards as fast as she could and tried to press herself into the rock as the heat from the dragon’s breath washed over her and the flames licked her toes. As the shadow passed she turned and ran for cover.
Monday, February 03, 2020
All jokes aside, Gareth loved being a shepherd in Wales. The best dark skies in Britain, don’t believe what Scotland says. When he was a boy he would try to count the stars. His #fantasy was to go there someday but how would animal husbandry let him do that?
Sunday, February 02, 2020
“How do you cope with the solitude, how do you keep it together?”
“When I cease to question my own #sanity is the time to worry but being out of the world and one with nature helps,” replied the guru.
“That and a good satellite broadband connection,” he added when alone.
Saturday, February 01, 2020
“Master, how does learning katas make me a better warrior? I’m never going to be attacked by 4 opponents in a set pattern.”
“Only when you know what you could do can you choose the right thing to do. The best actors learn the #script before they ad lib”
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